The beast...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
In an episode of Grey's Anatomy, Katherine Heigel's character Izzy said how, once she'd had sex again after a long stint of not getting any, re-awakened her beast.
Well my beast has definitely been roused. And she's insatiable. And it's all thanks to Metal-Man .
We hooked up over a year ago for what should have been a one night stand.
When he met me I was extremely relationship phobic after experiencing one of those He's Not That Into You moments with a previous boyfriend. And being sexually deprived meant I was more obnoxious and irritable than usual.
I was not exactly the kind of person you'd have liked to have at a party. You'd have found me clutching my glass of Jesus-Juice, glaring at any devil spawn with a penis who dared glance my way.
My wit decended to it's lowest form if the said spawn managed to get into a conversation with yours truly. The only responses he'd get out of me would be dripping with enough sarcasm to leave a toxic burn. In short my friends soon made the decision that if WC didn't get laid soon they wouldn't have any hairs left. Hence the hook up.
Now after a year I'm still with the most sexually compatible person I've ever been with and I'm glad to say although my beast might be growling most of the time thanks to constant thoughts of Metal-Man, the noises she makes don't bother me at all.
posted by Wannabe Cynic at 6:49 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Why the Cynic...
Friday, October 13, 2006
I've been asked why I chose the wannabe cynic as my blog's title. And I say why not?
As Lillian Hellman once said "Cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth"
Plus there is just so much to be cynical about .... don't agree? Well here here are couple of things I'm cynical about just to give you an idea.
  • psychoanalysts who keep their patients coming back for 20 years
  • expecting rewards in the hereafter
  • the apparent indifference of God
  • the possibility that God is a myth
  • the possibility that God is a jokester
  • capitalism
  • communism
  • socialism
  • fascism
  • commericialism
  • terrorism
  • the success of writers and artists who sell out
  • the wretchedness of writers and artists who don't
  • the shameful exclusion of non-Western cultures from history textbooks
  • the term"Third World"
  • realizing that the answers will always elude you if you search for them
  • knowing that you're still clueless after all these years
  • realizing that all the wise men, philosophers and self-help authors were clueless, too

I'll leave you with this anonymous qoute ...

If we (cynics) were activists, we'd do something
constructive about our discontentment. But we're smart enough to know that we
won't prevail, and probably a little too lazy to attempt any labour that's
predestined to fail. So we retaliate with our special brand of wounded wit.
If we can't defeat our oppressors, at least we can mock them in good
fellowship. That's about as much justice as a cynic can expect.

posted by Wannabe Cynic at 5:24 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Be still oh heart of mine
Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The problem with being young is that you tend forget that you are mortal. And risk is swear word in one's vocabulary. And I've done some pretty risky stuff in my life thus far.
Like driving myself home after having 'couple of drinks'. Or even worse letting some strange guy I've only met for five minutes drive me home. Granted, when logic returns I shudder at the thought of my lesuirely drive home with a possible 21st century Jack the Ripper. And the only reason I'm still breathing is probably because of my quirky humour and dazzling smile.
So it was only a matter of time before the full realisation of my mortality would come and smack the black off me.
And it came in the form of an HIV test. My heart has never beaten so fast. Waiting in that room for the doctor to come in and prick my finger was the longest 30 seconds of my life. Pictures of my escapades ran through my head. And I started wondering how ex boyfriends of mine were doing. It didn't help that I had my cell phone with me and I was sorely tempted to start ringing them up, like Chris Rock once recalled in one of his shows.
Finally the doctor arrived, a cheerful man - I disliked him on the spot!
He asked me about my sex life. I told him about my committed relationship with Metal-Man. Stressing the word committed. With a smug smile he explained how that meant nothing and proceeded with the test.
The thing looked like a pregnancy test and for the next ten minutes I watched as the red bar moved passed the first indicator of infection then HOVERED over the second. Then finally comming to a stop near the marker that says you are negative. Smiling, the lovely doctor shook my hand gave me tips on how to mantain my status and offered me a free t-shirt (what a nice guy).
posted by Wannabe Cynic at 7:08 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Inventory
Monday, October 09, 2006
Thought I would share with you some of the interesting gifts I got from my lover, friends and family:
  1. Airline tickets to Ghana (West Africa) from my folks who are currently residing in the country of of my birth
  2. A set of 6 sand blasted shooter glasses from my little sister, who lives in Cape Town so each glass had a famous landmark of the Mother City etched on the glass (very cute)
  3. Got taken out to lunch twice by collegues and had a lovely bitching session (great for the soul I say)
  4. Another set of sand blasted shooter glasses from my friend Angel-Devil Child (by now I'm starting to think I must be giving off the wrong impression about my love for alchohol)
  5. A four hour long porn titled "I'm Gonna Suck U Suka!" from my lovely boyfriend (he even gift wrapped the thing .... brought a tear to my eye).

P.S. Thanks to Pannasmontata for my blog's lovely new look.

posted by Wannabe Cynic at 7:32 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Try calling me a pariah again ...
Thursday, October 05, 2006
I do not deny that I am addicted to the 'ol cancer-stick. And I'm not ignorant about the damages that sucking on one of these babies does to one's body.
But the thought of giving up now is the last thing on my mind. I can't imagine a day without the absolute pleasure I get out of lighting one, especially during the course of a hectic day ... it's indescribable.
Sadly being a smoker today is hard. You might as well light a spliff instead. You'd get less shit said to you.
If your office does not have a designated smoking room, woe to the poor sods that have to march outside every time a craving hits.
Even worse is if your office is on the 50th floor. I'm one of the lucky ones; working for a newspaper and surrounded by highly stressed journalists means our smoking area is better than some. With a distant view of the ocean from our roof top, it's a 21st century smoker's haven.
The only thing one has to content with are non-smokers (who somehow find their way to designated areas).
It does not help that in this country, smoking as a black woman is a social faux-pas and hence allot of my peers choose to enjoy their cancer-sticks in private, far away from prying eyes.
Let me give you a couple of examples of the shit I have to listen to when all I want to do is enjoy my ciggie.

  • Do your parent's know you smoke? (I have my own apartment, have my own car; what am I 12 years old!)
  • You are too pretty to smoke (What is there a law saying only fugly people can smoke?)
  • Smoking is a disgusting habit (And picking your nose and eating what you found there you idiot is not?)
  • I hate it when women smoke, it's so unattractive (It's not like I was trying to lure your punk ass into bed!)

I've accepted high taxes on cigarette, the segregation and those annoying health warnings but I can't stand self-righteous rantings about what is basically my personal choice.

posted by Wannabe Cynic at 4:04 AM | Permalink | 1 comments
Incurable romantic? .... Guilty!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006

This poem by Maya Angelou sums up how I'm feeling today

Remembrance
Your hands easy weight,
teasing the bees hived in my hair,
your smile at the slope of my cheek.
On the occasion, you press above me, glowing, spouting readiness, mystery rapes my reason
When you have withdrawn yourself and the magic,
when only the smell of your love lingers between my breasts,
then,
only then, can I greedily consume your presence.




posted by Wannabe Cynic at 3:52 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Joyeux et heureux anniversaire WC!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes.
Wish you could all share a sundowner with me. African sunsets rock!
posted by Wannabe Cynic at 1:10 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
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